Independence

I take pride in my independence 

I see others who depend on a significant other

And I take pity

It isn’t intentional 

It’s subconscious 

I can’t understand why so many rely on such unreliable people

I see myself going through my daily life with only myself 

And I am fine. 

Some may see me and say I am “alone”

Or unloved

But I see myself, and I see someone who is “self-reliant”

I don’t need someone by my side 

I say I am fine

But when I lie in my bed at night

I can’t help but miss your tender touch

The way I felt protected when I rested between your arms

Or the way your smile could light up an entire room

Like a light had been turned on in a dark hallway

I can’t stop thinking of the whispers of sweet nothings you spoke to me

Or the grip of your hands around my waist

Or the impact your hugs would have on my body

I miss the look you would give me from across the room

You didn’t feel the need to hover over me in the company of others, but you caught my attention to let me know you were there. 

I miss the way you would blush when you got nervous

Or the way you would laugh as though you had never heard anything funnier than what I just said

I miss it

But I don’t miss you

You were so good to me

But I wasn’t good to you

I miss you for the wrong reasons

I miss the feeling of having someone there

I miss the affection 

I miss you and your presence 

But not in the way someone should miss another

I miss you

But I don’t deserve you 

And you shouldn’t miss me